Hiacynt

'When they asked me what I wanted to be, I said I didn’t know.' 'Oh, sure you know,' the photographer said. 'She wants,' said Jay Cee wittily, 'to be everything.' ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar 'Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.' ― S. Beckett, Worstward Ho! In Greek mythology, Hyacinth was a Spartan prince and a lover of Apollo. He died after being hit on the head by a discus, deflected by the jealous Zephyrus. Operation Hyacinth was a secret mass action carried out by the Polish communist police in the years 1985–1987. Its purpose was to create a national database of all Polish homosexuals, which resulted in the registration of around 11,000 people. At 16, you walk the thin line that separates adolescence and adulthood. Taking a step forward is tempting, but also scary. You prefer to linger in-between, indulging in benefits of childhood and furtively taking advantage of adult-only privileges. You feel different and, like the mythical Ulysses, you seem caught between the Scylla and Charybdis of life choices: the desire to fit the societal standards and the urge to defy them. Sometimes, realising who you are is an act of courage.